Letting Go of Perfectionism
Let go of perfectionism and embrace the magic of being you.
If you are like me, having a horse was a childhood dream. When I picked up my first pony at 14, I imagined riding along the hills and feeling at one with nature the whole way home.
However, if you are also like me - you will know it wasn’t that plain sailing. Instead, I
opened the stable door to an overwhelming amount of judgement, fear, stress and unspoken rules. For when you enter the equestrian world, there is pressure to be perfect.
I quickly realised, this was an impossible task. With everyone having their own training methods, tack and timetable they swore by. But still, I exhausted myself in the pursuit of perfection; trying this and that, following unsolicited advice by fellow horse owners, reading magazines, googling, purchasing new training gadgets and looking everywhere else but myself for validation.
In short, I stopped listening to myself and my horse, because I didn’t believe I could look inside for answers. And this is the catch. Perfectionism comes from the limiting belief “I’m not good enough”. It fools you into thinking it’s helping, giving you an opportunity to prove yourself as worthy IF you reach the next target.
For example...
“I’m not good enough … unless/until … I earn/jump/have/do/buy/ride etc.)
But, have you ever worked so hard to achieve this thing, expecting to feel content, happy, and worthy when you get there; but all of a sudden there is another thing to chase? This is because perfectionism gives you a moving target, and an unobtainable standard that you will burn out trying to reach.
You are not alone.
When it feels like rock bottom, and all the joy and excitement of being with your horse is sucked away, you are in the most transformative place. Because at that point you must make a decision, to lose yourself chasing ‘perfect’, or trust in your worthiness no matter what.
And here is the truth...
Your horse doesn’t value perfection.
They don’t care about sparkly tack, higher jumps, Instagram likes, rosettes or even Olympic gold. And they ESPECIALLY don’t care about what Karen at the yard thinks.
They value being seen, being heard and understood. They value you trusting your intuition, having an open mind and following your heart.
We are all just helping each other be better humans for our horses, and to listen, understand and grow. That is our responsibilities as equestrians. Not to tear ourselves or others down.
Believing in perfection stops you from learning and growing. No human is ever perfect, and that is your gift. Because you can bring your open mind and find new magic everyday. It allows us to forgive, love, and lead from a place of trust over fear.
So if you are at the point in your journey where you feel exhausted, burnt out and lost trying to chase another promise of perfection, I see you. You are not alone and don’t need to go through this alone. Perfectionism does not define you, and it doesn’t have to rule your life. Start small, share with someone you trust, write down your feelings in a private notebook, and seek support from a coach or someone you really feel safe with.
It is my passion to support and guide equestrians and their horses through blocks like perfectionism, and to build a relationship they deserve; based on trust, connection and understanding. If this is something that resonates with you and where you are at, please do connect with me.
You are worthy because you are you, and you are worthy of the relationship with your horse that you dreamed of.
NO MATTER WHAT
Love
Cat x
@balanceandalignequine
catherine@balanceandalign.com
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Do you have something you'd like to write about or a story you'd like to share? Please do get in touch with us: info@theconsciousequestrian.net